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Rosalind Stanley's avatar

Oh, Hannah, my heart pours out to you! I have four children, and my youngest is seven, so it's been a while since I was in the trenches like you, but I remember it so vividly.

A few things:

You're doing it all right. I mean, obviously not *all*, we all make mistakes, but from this piece alone, I can see that you love your babies and your husband and your home and have beautiful, loving, peaceful intentions for all of them. And thank God, so many of these particulars will get ironed out over time (many of them before your kids are old enough to form memories of the mistakes!) -- but your intentions are something you can't fake, so take comfort in the fact that yours are strong and good.

Please do yourself a favor and remember that there will come different seasons. You'll have months when everything is just rolling along and months when it feels like everything takes *work*. Neither your salvation, nor your status as a "good" mom (whatever the heck that is), nor your family's love for you rests on the season you're in. I wish I'd learned that more quickly than I did.

Screentime is a Godsend. As long as it isn't too much (for a 20-month-old, he probably can't sit still for more than one episode of a show anyway -- if that!). Seriously, don't worry about that. Figure out the time of day (it can change, depending on the day) when it's most helpful for *you* to have him occupied, and sit him down with no regrets. (You'll have plenty of time to agonize over screentime when he's a preteen and has actual opinions about what he watches, believe me!)

I'm in awe that you do laundry -- AND BAKE -- more than once a week. Can you come to my house, please?

Motherhood is not a job; it's a life. And in life, we give each other grace for making mistakes, having an off day, being lazy for a spell, not being clear, changing our minds, etc. -- all the things that, if you're like I was, you worry might damage your kids. Barring the obvious exceptions (abuse, abandonment, addiction), your family just living its life won't ruin your kids...even if you make mistakes, have off days, etc. (And the opposite won't save your kids, either -- that's an important thing to know, too!)

Your kids will remember the most random, wacky things from childhood, so go ahead and go all-out on planning festive holidays or perfect family days if you want...just remember, they'll most likely be telling the story of the time you left the coffee mug on top of your car and then drove away -- for years! And *that* will be the story that brings you all closer.

(If you can't tell, *all* of this represents some very hard-learned lessons in my own life!)

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Tracy Connelly's avatar

But what if there just is no chunk of quiet time, no alone time? As a young mother I practiced praying “micro-prayers” as simple as thinking or saying out loud the name of Jesus or Come Lord Jesus or Jesus I trust in you. I did this often when pushing the grocery cart! In this way we share our whole day with Jesus. Jesus with every breath.

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